Last week I was editing my students’ first ever five paragraph essays. They were charged with the task of writing a persuasive essay using a topic of their choice. One essay stood out to me for two reasons. First of all, it was by far the best-written essay of the bunch. Secondly, his topic was why Christmas is the best holiday of the year. He was not the only student to choose Christmas as a topic; the students talk about the nearness of Christmas often. What was unique about his essay was one of his subtopics: gift giving. He claimed in his final, and therefore most critical, body paragraph that the act of gift giving shows love between family members.

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This talented student/author is not the only one who sees the act of exchanging gifts as one synonymous with expressing love. The belief is not unique to those celebrating Christmas, nor is it unique to young people. I do, however, know that in my house Hannukah’s modern gift exchange has never been conflated with an expression of love. Rather, making latkahs, going to the synagogue’s menorah lighting, and scraping wax off of the menorahs each evening are the moments teeming with love. I also know that JPS’ selection of Hannukah books is rightfully small compared to that of Torah commentary and novels about family and ethics. The selection also shares traditions, not of gift exchange, but of story telling, game playing, and food consuming.

A large part of me felt guilty not commenting on my student’s essay, but I also recognize that he’s not to blame. We’ve all grown up in a society hypnotized by material objects. My hope is that more parents will raise their kids the way my parents did me, and that more publishers produce books like JPS’ Hannukah selection, which reinforce the importance of tradition and family. (I also hope that the rest of my students are writing as well as this particular one by the end of the school year.)

*A reference to the 1981 collection of short stories, What We Talk About When We Talk About Love by Raymond Carver.