or how my novel became a non-bestseller (so far)

by Mark Binder

Half the Jewish people think my stories are too Jewish. The other half think they’re not Jewish enough. And non-Jewish people think that my stories are for Jews. Which means that my audience is mostly a guy named Leonard Klehr who lives in Cranston, RI on a fixed income. And my Mom.

I wish it were a joke, but it isn’t.

As you might imagine, it can be kind of frustrating. My Chelm series has won awards! The stories have been published around the world. I began writing them years ago when I was the editor of the Rhode Island Jewish Herald. On a deadline morning we had a hole in the newspaper, so I wrote a story to fill it. After I was fired for writing a Purim parody, “Transvestite Rabbis and the Women Who Love Them,” I continued writing stories of Chelm for Jewish newspaper in the US, Canada and even Australia.

Some of the stories were published in Cricket Magazine for children, but they weren’t written for kids. Or not just for kids. I write for all ages — because that’s who read Jewish newspapers: everyone from kids to seniors. And over the years, my villagers of Chelm began to change. The senior rabbi fell in love with the widowed caterer, and I produced a pamphlet about their romance called, “The Misadventures of Rabbi Kibbitz and Mrs. Chaipul.” I still have copies in the attic.

In 1999 I proposed that I write a novel of Chelm for the Houston Jewish Herald Voice. It would be serialized on a weekly basis. They said yes, and I began writing “The Brothers Schlemiel.”

It was a wonderful process. Every episode began with a hook and ended with a hook plus a “Next week…” The titles of the next episodes were meant to be enticing: “Oy” or “Termites on the Brain”

And because it was written over time, and targeted for specific weeks, the setting and characters changed with the seasons. A Hanukkah stand-alone story was reprinted in other papers.

I also began selling email subscriptions to the book, and recorded an audio edition, “The Brothers Schlemiel From Birth to Bar Mitzvah.” My fan base grew among non-Jews.

And when September 11 happened, I wrote my reactions into the book.

The original “Brothers Schlemiel” ran 100 weekly installments over a two-year period and ended when the two brothers separated for the final time. The book was sent to publisher after publisher before eight years later, JPS published the first part of “The Brothers Schlemiel” as a beautifully illustrated book for young people. Think the Wyeth editions of “Treasure Island.”

This edition tells the story of Abraham and Adam, the identical twins born in Chelm and confused from the day they were born until the moment that one of them (is it Abraham or Adam) is married. Along the way they get in and out of trouble, meet (and defeat) a robber, travel to Minsk (or was it Pinsk), fall in love, and deal with loss.

It’s not a story for kids. It’s not a story for adults. It’s not a story for Jews. It’s not too Jewish. (And it’s not Jewish enough.)

It’s a story that I wrote for everybody. It’s a novel that I think you’d enjoy.

Read an excerpt, and tell me if you’re not hooked.

Mark Binder is the author of “The Brothers Schlemiel.” His latest projects are two live audio story albums: “It was a dark and stormy night…” and “A Holiday Present” They’re not just for kids. They’re not just for Jews…. They’re funny (and fun) for everyone.